On The Go Mustachio (aka How to Make a Fabric Mustache)

This week’s craft is brought to you by the letter M (for murder)!

Hello Internet Friends!

So glad you popped over to learn about the On The Go Mustachio! This little bit of upper lip machismo is sure to assist you with all of your future endeavors. I decided to make a nose neighbor this week for 2 reasons:

1. Mr. McCluckin’ asked if I would make one in honor of the recently published book Taft 2012 by Jason Heller. It would seem that my favorite rooster was out and about interviewing the author for the podcast Machine Readable.

2. The flying spaghetti monster shower scrub I was working on ended up looking like that creepy clown face from the Saw film franchise, and I personally would prefer to avoid scrub-a-dub-dubbing with that sinister fellow.

Either way it’s a great way to fill an afternoon with the joy of sewing and then spend the evening with a flawless disguise for all the liquor store robberies or presidential campaigns you may need to attend.

Tutorial Begins Right Now:

1. Gather your supplies! You will need: felt (or fabric), 1/4″ elastic, matching thread, stuffing, a fabric pen or tailor’s chalk, hand sewing needle, a functional pencil, papers, and a sewing machine ready to roll.

2. Decide what shape you want your mustache to take on. I made this one to look like the nose neighbor of former president William Howard Taft mixed with a bit of silent melodrama film villain.

3. Draw out the shape on a piece of paper. Practice a few times, then just go for it. If you are seriously worried you won’t get it right simply Google mustache chart and find one you can print. It’s best to make sure no point of your mustache is thinner than 1″.

4. Cut out the paper shape, pin it to your felt or fabric, and cut out the mustache twice.

5. Measure the amount of elastic you will need by placing the end of the elastic just under your nose and then wrapping it around your head. Be sure to pull it a little to give it a snug fit. Nobody like a mustache that won’t stay on their face.

6. Sew the elastic to one of your mustaches. I prefer a zig-zag stitch to better secure the elastic but do whatever makes you the happiest. It doesn’t have to be perfect we will cover this up later.

7. Pin the right sides of your mustaches together; remember the side with the elastic attached is the right side (meaning it will be on the outside when you finish). On the wrong side of the mustache without elastic mark a 1″ to 1 1/2″ opening with your fabric pen or tailor’s chalk.

8. Sew the mustache together with 1/4″ seams, back stitching at the beginning and end. Be careful not to stitch upon the elastic. As you get closer to the elastic, carefully pull it to the opening you have drawn on.

9. Inspect your stitches and confirm that you have: a) not stitched over the elastic at all, b) have stitched through both layers of fabric all the way around, and c) have in fact left an opening. If you have failed to do any of these things remove the necessary stitches (or in the case of accidentally sewing off the fabric add the stitches to keep your 1/4″ border).

10. Clip and notch your seam allowances to obtain the perfect mustache shape.

11. Turn the mustache right side out. I often use a chopstick to get the tight spots fully turned.

12. Stuff the mustache with fiber fill. Only stuff it enough to keep the mustache’s shape, you don’t want to bust a stitch. Again a chopstick comes in handy to negotiate the sexy curves of your mustache.

13. Hand sew the opening shut with a whip stitch.

14. Cut a small patch of your fabric or felt to cover the elastic on the back and sew it into place by hand. I have in a time pinch glued this in place with instant dry craft glue, but it rarely turns out well. Then again if your gang is waiting for you at Ye Olde Liquor Shoppe and you just have to get out the door with your disguise, then by all means!

15. Wear your new mustache with pride.

Bizarre phone photo, please ignore my glazed over stare.

Hope you enjoyed this tutorial as much as I enjoyed making this mustache. Think of all the fun options, a glitter ‘stache for a gala, a plaid ‘stache for a weekend in the country, a clear ‘stache for that avant garde party I know you plan to attend…the options are endless!

So long for now interneters,

Henny Penny